[ Even if they'd just been very close, he doesn't quite know what to do about being hooked around the waist. He looks down at him, brows furrowed and mouth frowning, but doesn't stop messing around on his phone. ]
Be patient. I'm not losing my job for not showing on your account.
[ At least he doesn't have a problem sharing what he's doing. It's cold out here for him too, and it's settling in that he.. definitely just had sex outside on a balcony, where people in the adjacent buildings or rooms probably could've seen. They might have, and he's genuinely not sure. Once he finishes texting he needs to get them inside. He sets his phone aside and starts gathering up.. all of the clothes, he'll sort them later, then looks down at the boy next to him. ]
No one would fire a hard worker like you over one missed day.
[Mumbled against Midorima's thigh, probably, as Eichi relaxes into him. There's something still so tight in his chest, even after all of that... It's the uncertainty, he thinks. Midorima is like Keito in just enough ways for him to worry. Misunderstandings were a common thing between them, especially in the past...
But he's no showing, then? His fingers curl loosely where they are, and when he registers the question, he hums to indicate he's trying to reply. It takes another handful of seconds to get one out.]
I don't think so. The Chroma was incredible, but at the same time, it's not enough to offset this body of mine... I'm not in any danger. I'm simply weak.
[He hates admitting things like that, but he will, for this moment.]
[ Granted, Midorima's notice is just "I'm not coming in today" which is not the most descriptive, but it's all they need to know. He'll deal with it later, but he let them know and that's what's important. Midorima is many things, but he's not irresponsible. Right now, Eichi is the person he feels most responsible toward. They just became much, much closer than Midorima's ever really.. been with anyone, and he's not about to denigrate that by callously leaving, especially not when Eichi's obviously in need of assistance.
Midorima eyes Eichi for a moment. He doesn't push him away, but he does reach for the towel in his pile of laundry. This... he's going to wash all of this before he leaves. He doesn't have other clothing to leave in. Surely Eichi has a washer in this kind of fancy apartment. He folds the towel inside of some of the other clothing, then tucks it under one arm. ]
Let go.
[ Again, it sounds cold, like he's pushing him away. But if Eichi's clinging onto his hips like that he can't pick his ass up to take him to the shower.. ]
I don’t want to, though? When are you going to show some affection? After care is important, you know?
[ He says, but he reluctantly pulls his hands back, rolling on his back again with his eyes up at the sky. Hmm. He’s not sure where this is going, or where they are, but his heart is still beating so fast, even if his breathing is steadying. Part of that is medical, sure, but also... They’re close, right? He’s not imagining it, right?
He has no idea how to measure these things. He just wants to be liked, at least a little. ]
That's what I'm doing, you're simply being a fool about it.
[ He moves onto his knees to pick Eichi up, this time much more kindly than the last. He's not a potato sack this time, but once he's got the fabric tucked under his arms, he's able to lock Eichi into a princess carry provided he doesn't fight it. ]
[ Tiredly, he relaxes easily into Midorima’s arms. This hold is nicer, and he doesn’t fight it at all, not that he could anyway. Instead, his head rests against Midorima’s chest and his eyes drift closed. ]
I simply... don’t want to be left alone, right now. [ Ahh, he’s saying too much, but he can’t help it. He’s so tired, but he’s also so relaxed? He’d be staying awake better if he could. ]
[ He's not even going to correct htat even if Eichi says something so embarrassing. Or perhaps because he says something embarrassing. Of course he's not going to leave him alone. ]
I was judging your choice in friends for leaving you alone after drinking, what do you think I am?
[ He scoffs after that, but he recalls where the bathroom is so it doesn't take him long to get there after he kicks the door closed with his foot. They can go clean up the mat and everything else later, cleaning up the two of them comes first. He sets Eichi down on the edge of the bathtub and tosses the clothing and towel in the sink. He'll figure that out later. ]
You can't walk, but can you stand?
[ Midorima doesn't think it'll be comfortable if they both cram into the bathtub, but there's enough room if they both stand to get in. This time he needs to get clean too, rather than just Eichi. ]
[ He says that with so much joy, blinking his eyes open as much as he can. His irregular heartbeat makes for difficult recovery times, but it’s not unpleasant at all. He’s only focused on the good. ]
For a short period of time, I think so. Ah, or if you were to help support me? [ He tilts his head up just slightly, already leaning on a hand on the edge of the tub. ] You don’t want me to sit in your lap~?
[ He’s mostly joking... And it’s entirely not helpful to cleaning up. ]
[ He's definitely back to last names now. He still can't believe he even said his first name before and he's a little nervous that Eichi is going to lord it over him. ]
Your bath is too small for someone of my height no matter where you end up.
[ He'll let him lean against him though. He starts warming up the water. ]
[So it's back to last names, huh. He doesn't think he minds it... And he notices that at least he said his last name right, this time. But it's worth noting.]
No bath is made for someone of your height. You're practically a giraffe. [Just, for the record.]
I think the image of you with your legs all bunched up in a tub is something fun, though. ♪ [For someone so tired, he sure is giving him lip.] No matter, though. I'll do my best to stand, so will you catch me if I fall, Midorima-kun? I'm counting on you~.
I won't see it, so just hold onto me so I don't have to deal with it.
[ He's taking his glasses off at that point and sets them on the counter. He can't shower with them on, after all. ]
In all seriousness, I have no intention of our massage sessions turning into this every time so we'll cease doing those during Cordis and Iris moons.
[ He puts his hand out to test the water's temperature, then gets in once he's ready, moving farther from the shower head so Eichi can get in on that side first. He's shorter, so he should rinse first and use Midorima's body to block the water while he shampoos. ]
[He says it playfully, as well, and it's probably clear by now that Eichi's mood is considerably better, right now, than it had been before all of this. He stands carefully, putting his hand on Midorima for warning, and then for support. He'll shower as he talks, it's easy enough.
But even if he's meant to be holding onto Midorima for support, and he is, his hands linger and touch more gently than he would have bothered with otherwise.]
I don't mind that arrangement, but... does that mean we'll be able to meet up more casually sometimes, too?
It's better to keep professional things professional.
[ Not that Midorima is a professional by any means, he's just got good hands and intentions. But it's the concept that counts.
Despite being in the heat of the water, the way Eichi touches him sends a slight shiver through his body. Not one of cold or fear, the good variety. It's weird to suddenly feel vulnerable still for an entirely different reason now, this time because he can't see Eichi's face- and therefore can't see what his intention with such delicate touches are. ]
We already agreed to practice. [ So that's a yes. ] Provided you give me notice. I can't simply drop everything because you want me.
[ But he'll probably send him his work and basketball schedule and say he misfired, just so he knows what times can't be interfered with if he wants to ask. ]
[Eichi is quiet for a moment as he shampoos his hair, then he trails a soapy finger over Midorima's hip as he moves enough to rinse himself. humming.]
I don't want to "schedule practice" with you. Something like this is meant to be spontaneous, you know? An exciting thing that gives you chills... that has you wondering what each touch might mean. [Still holding onto him so he won't fall, he traces a little star on his chest next.]
Otherwise, it's not personal at all. I don't want to give you notice... but I also wouldn't expect you to drop everything, you know?
[ He takes a deep breath as if he's trying not to let the little finger traces get to him. This is ridiculous. Cordis's instinctual want for more of everything is already making him want to indulge again and he's trying not to let it show. ]
I believe when you schedule it, it's called a date, but if you have no intention of that then you'll have to wait until I'm in the mood.
[ Eichi is tired and weak, which is why he can't let himself get into the mood again now. Even if he can't really see what he's doing to stop him, and admitting that it's doing anything would mean admitting that he isn't satiated yet. He wonders just how much experience Eichi has with Cordis-blessed and if he's doing this on purpose or not. ]
[On purpose or not? He's a horny bunny, tired or not. It's a little bit on purpose, to see where it goes. He laughs lightly at that, though.]
That's your definition of a date? Wahh, you're so serious, it's unbelievable. I'd like to go on dates, but don't call it scheduling practice or I'll think you're using me, you know?
[He won't, because he feels like he already knows Midorima better than that, but. Still. He takes a little bit more to make sure he's clean enough to switch spots, and then he slides his hand from Midorima's chest around to his back, kind of like a sensual slow almost-hug. He's still definitely using him for support.]
Okay, I'm ready. Do you want me to wash your hair, Midorima-kun? I can reach, you know?
[ He doesn't make jokes. That's why when he's being ridiculous it's even more funny somehow.
His breath is a little sharper as he feels Eichi moving to the other side. To cover it up, he steps forward to dunk his head under the water. He holds out his hand to the side, back still facing him. ]
[But he'd wanted to do it himself. Ah, well... He can't push this too much, can he? Or like a magnet facing the wrong way, Midorima might fly away. He sighs against Midorima's skin and then reaches to pass him the shampoo carefully. Even there, his fingers brush wherever they can. He stays close, even if he knows he'll have to not be in the way of Midorima washing himself.
But he's feeling so affectionate... This moon is pushing him to feel this way so much, and even without it he's the lonely sort. It's just that it's giving him an excuse to be more physical with it.]
[ Midorima is the prideful type, so he's less tolerant of that sort of behavior from people who he thinks will make fun of him for it. Eichi might take a while to get to the point of getting to take care of him.
That question in particular gives him a flashback to exactly what he was feeling at that point, and Eichi may notice a flush reaching the back of his neck. His cock twitches just slightly too, teased by the little touches here and there and then the verbal reminder of what it could be doing. Of what his body wants him to do. His tail starts swaying back and forth. It's soaked, so it's not fluffy anymore, so it rather feels like a solid appendage rubbing back and forth Eichi's front. ]
[Ah... His ears twitch a little, water flicking off accidentally from the motion. It blends in with the rest of the shower, anyway. But he catches those reaches, and feeling that tail swaying is kind of nice... So he leans closer still, arms both wrapping more solidly around Midorima's middle like he needs the support.
He kind of does. Just the idea of excitement again makes him dizzy, but he loves that, he wants it, he can't help that he's in heat.]
Is it silly? That's just your opinion. You were so silent, I was worried you might be bored... I would have been hurt, if that was the case.
[His fingers brush carefully over Midorima's chest, a slow test as he turns his face against his back, lips and nose ghosting wet skin.] I enjoyed it, too.
[ And he's starting to think for good reason! Apparently, having sex hasn't made Midorima too much less of a prude. At least not enough to answer that straight, but the question he had before is far more obvious now. It's definitely intentional. Eichi's trying to work him up again, and it's working. He completely tenses up, his voice raising a little in volume. ]
I certainly don't have any fantasies about my-- [ he doesn't even know what Eichi is ] about you ending up in the hospital because my stamina far surpasses yours and you can barely stand.
[ He turns around then, slamming both of his hands to the shower tile on either side of Tenshouin. He leans down to close the height difference, making his mouth mere millimeter's from Eichi's. But he doesn't kiss him. Instead, his voice is firm, even if it's obvious he's visibly reacting now that he's turned around, his cock not entirely flaccid anymore. ]
I said I'm not interested in hospitalizing you. You called me over today because you weren't feeling like you could make it until Monday and I've done the opposite of help. I'm not pushing you further even if you want it.
[ He leans in, but only rests his forehead against Eichi's for a brief moment, still not kissing him. If Eichi leans in at all, or a few seconds pass, he'll stand up straight again and go to turn around. ]
[The turn feels so sudden, and Eichi jolts back, hands retreating as Midorima does a too-intimidating take of a kabedon. He's glad that Midorima is so blind, because he's sure his own expression flashes into something too real for a moment. Past experiences aren't as long ago as they feel.
But even when that fades away, there's a strange mixture of feelings left in his chest. He's still aroused, still dealing with heat, and the intense way Midorima can turn on him like that is incredibly attractive, somehow. But now he's worried, on top of that. Afraid? He's afraid he's stepped over some line... Maybe he did that long ago.
It's not fair to ask him to push that line. No one ever wants to, and he shouldn't expect them to, right? More than that, he's not sure why he wants to push it so far to begin with. More thinking on that has him wondering if he's more troubled by everything going on right now than he wants to admit. (Yes.)
Midorima just cares. That's what this is, he's sure... But even knowing that isn't calming the sick feeling in his heart. It's not Midorima's fault at all. Eichi just has had too much on his plate for too long, and something was bound to knock at it.]
...Right.
[So, he's quiet aside from that, and he doesn't move his hands back to touch Midorima even for support. He's not steady on his feet, but he can probably make it for the rest of this shower.]
[ Midorima stays quiet for the next few moments. He's made his point, and he doesn't really feel the need to elaborate on it. Eichi doesn't seem to have any questions, and he doesn't seem to be reacting poorly to it. At least not that he can tell. It's difficult, without his vision, but as far as he can tell, Eichi is stronger than he looks. Emotionally, not physically.
He's been wrong about that before, to devastating consequences, but perhaps he'll get lucky this time.
Since Eichi is staying quiet, Midorima finishes off his hair and is rather militant about washing himself. It's a habit, one he does more than most people because of his involvement in a sport that results in him getting very, very sweaty. He does think about what Eichi said. His mind stays on it for a while. It comes back to something that he thought before about Eichi. The last time he was over there too, in his desire to 'live' he was risking his life far too much. It wasn't that Midorima didn't want to give him what he wanted. He did want more from Eichi. Midorima himself has pushed himself beyond his own limits multiple times. He's seen people be physically and mentally broken from doing it. He's never dealt with sexual limits before, and he's still only just had sex, so it's still.. it's too much for him to even consider properly right now. His head is still swimming from what he's just done-- what they've just done. Eichi can barely stand after that- he's not holding onto him. Midorima can't see or feel him and he's quiet, and that's troublesome.
He's so bad with people. Eichi being quiet and letting go is strange, and it's his fault. He never knows what to say, he never knows how to stop a conversation normally when he needs to divert from the topic or stop the slew of things that are honestly overwhelming for him. Midorima is not emotionally intelligent, or conversationally intelligent. When Eichi told him he felt lonely when he didn't talk, he wanted to ask why he wanted to be around him to begin with then. That felt too weak to ask, though.
Everything about today is overwhelming and it just comes off as Midorima seeming upset rather than what it is. ]
If you can convince me I can trust you to tell me to stop before it's too late in the future, I'll consider it.
[ That's what he lands on. A small concession. They're not there yet though. The know each other more intimately than Midorima knows anyone else, and yet he doesn't feel like he knows Eichi very well at all. If he's going to do something so extreme as to push someone whose limits could very well land them in the hospital or worse, he needs to be able to trust him. And that's not something he feels comfortable with right now. There are some things Midorima can only do if he has complete trust in someone.
There are only two people Midorima has ever had complete trust in and one of those people broke while Midorima stood by and watched, unable to do anything to stop it. Eichi has a long road ahead to get what he wants out of Midorima. ]
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accurately) wrote2019-06-22 12:49 am
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Be patient. I'm not losing my job for not showing on your account.
[ At least he doesn't have a problem sharing what he's doing. It's cold out here for him too, and it's settling in that he.. definitely just had sex outside on a balcony, where people in the adjacent buildings or rooms probably could've seen. They might have, and he's genuinely not sure. Once he finishes texting he needs to get them inside. He sets his phone aside and starts gathering up.. all of the clothes, he'll sort them later, then looks down at the boy next to him. ]
Can you walk?
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[Mumbled against Midorima's thigh, probably, as Eichi relaxes into him. There's something still so tight in his chest, even after all of that... It's the uncertainty, he thinks. Midorima is like Keito in just enough ways for him to worry. Misunderstandings were a common thing between them, especially in the past...
But he's no showing, then? His fingers curl loosely where they are, and when he registers the question, he hums to indicate he's trying to reply. It takes another handful of seconds to get one out.]
I don't think so. The Chroma was incredible, but at the same time, it's not enough to offset this body of mine... I'm not in any danger. I'm simply weak.
[He hates admitting things like that, but he will, for this moment.]
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[ Granted, Midorima's notice is just "I'm not coming in today" which is not the most descriptive, but it's all they need to know. He'll deal with it later, but he let them know and that's what's important. Midorima is many things, but he's not irresponsible. Right now, Eichi is the person he feels most responsible toward. They just became much, much closer than Midorima's ever really.. been with anyone, and he's not about to denigrate that by callously leaving, especially not when Eichi's obviously in need of assistance.
Midorima eyes Eichi for a moment. He doesn't push him away, but he does reach for the towel in his pile of laundry. This... he's going to wash all of this before he leaves. He doesn't have other clothing to leave in. Surely Eichi has a washer in this kind of fancy apartment. He folds the towel inside of some of the other clothing, then tucks it under one arm. ]
Let go.
[ Again, it sounds cold, like he's pushing him away. But if Eichi's clinging onto his hips like that he can't pick his ass up to take him to the shower.. ]
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[ He says, but he reluctantly pulls his hands back, rolling on his back again with his eyes up at the sky. Hmm. He’s not sure where this is going, or where they are, but his heart is still beating so fast, even if his breathing is steadying. Part of that is medical, sure, but also... They’re close, right? He’s not imagining it, right?
He has no idea how to measure these things. He just wants to be liked, at least a little. ]
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[ He moves onto his knees to pick Eichi up, this time much more kindly than the last. He's not a potato sack this time, but once he's got the fabric tucked under his arms, he's able to lock Eichi into a princess carry provided he doesn't fight it. ]
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[ Tiredly, he relaxes easily into Midorima’s arms. This hold is nicer, and he doesn’t fight it at all, not that he could anyway. Instead, his head rests against Midorima’s chest and his eyes drift closed. ]
I simply... don’t want to be left alone, right now. [ Ahh, he’s saying too much, but he can’t help it. He’s so tired, but he’s also so relaxed? He’d be staying awake better if he could. ]
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[ He's not even going to correct htat even if Eichi says something so embarrassing. Or perhaps because he says something embarrassing. Of course he's not going to leave him alone. ]
I was judging your choice in friends for leaving you alone after drinking, what do you think I am?
[ He scoffs after that, but he recalls where the bathroom is so it doesn't take him long to get there after he kicks the door closed with his foot. They can go clean up the mat and everything else later, cleaning up the two of them comes first. He sets Eichi down on the edge of the bathtub and tosses the clothing and towel in the sink. He'll figure that out later. ]
You can't walk, but can you stand?
[ Midorima doesn't think it'll be comfortable if they both cram into the bathtub, but there's enough room if they both stand to get in. This time he needs to get clean too, rather than just Eichi. ]
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[ He says that with so much joy, blinking his eyes open as much as he can. His irregular heartbeat makes for difficult recovery times, but it’s not unpleasant at all. He’s only focused on the good. ]
For a short period of time, I think so. Ah, or if you were to help support me? [ He tilts his head up just slightly, already leaning on a hand on the edge of the tub. ] You don’t want me to sit in your lap~?
[ He’s mostly joking... And it’s entirely not helpful to cleaning up. ]
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[ He's definitely back to last names now. He still can't believe he even said his first name before and he's a little nervous that Eichi is going to lord it over him. ]
Your bath is too small for someone of my height no matter where you end up.
[ He'll let him lean against him though. He starts warming up the water. ]
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No bath is made for someone of your height. You're practically a giraffe. [Just, for the record.]
I think the image of you with your legs all bunched up in a tub is something fun, though. ♪ [For someone so tired, he sure is giving him lip.] No matter, though. I'll do my best to stand, so will you catch me if I fall, Midorima-kun? I'm counting on you~.
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[ He's taking his glasses off at that point and sets them on the counter. He can't shower with them on, after all. ]
In all seriousness, I have no intention of our massage sessions turning into this every time so we'll cease doing those during Cordis and Iris moons.
[ He puts his hand out to test the water's temperature, then gets in once he's ready, moving farther from the shower head so Eichi can get in on that side first. He's shorter, so he should rinse first and use Midorima's body to block the water while he shampoos. ]
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[He says it playfully, as well, and it's probably clear by now that Eichi's mood is considerably better, right now, than it had been before all of this. He stands carefully, putting his hand on Midorima for warning, and then for support. He'll shower as he talks, it's easy enough.
But even if he's meant to be holding onto Midorima for support, and he is, his hands linger and touch more gently than he would have bothered with otherwise.]
I don't mind that arrangement, but... does that mean we'll be able to meet up more casually sometimes, too?
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[ Not that Midorima is a professional by any means, he's just got good hands and intentions. But it's the concept that counts.
Despite being in the heat of the water, the way Eichi touches him sends a slight shiver through his body. Not one of cold or fear, the good variety. It's weird to suddenly feel vulnerable still for an entirely different reason now, this time because he can't see Eichi's face- and therefore can't see what his intention with such delicate touches are. ]
We already agreed to practice. [ So that's a yes. ] Provided you give me notice. I can't simply drop everything because you want me.
[ But he'll probably send him his work and basketball schedule and say he misfired, just so he knows what times can't be interfered with if he wants to ask. ]
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[Eichi is quiet for a moment as he shampoos his hair, then he trails a soapy finger over Midorima's hip as he moves enough to rinse himself. humming.]
I don't want to "schedule practice" with you. Something like this is meant to be spontaneous, you know? An exciting thing that gives you chills... that has you wondering what each touch might mean. [Still holding onto him so he won't fall, he traces a little star on his chest next.]
Otherwise, it's not personal at all. I don't want to give you notice... but I also wouldn't expect you to drop everything, you know?
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I believe when you schedule it, it's called a date, but if you have no intention of that then you'll have to wait until I'm in the mood.
[ Eichi is tired and weak, which is why he can't let himself get into the mood again now. Even if he can't really see what he's doing to stop him, and admitting that it's doing anything would mean admitting that he isn't satiated yet. He wonders just how much experience Eichi has with Cordis-blessed and if he's doing this on purpose or not. ]
Let me know when you're ready to move behind me.
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That's your definition of a date? Wahh, you're so serious, it's unbelievable. I'd like to go on dates, but don't call it scheduling practice or I'll think you're using me, you know?
[He won't, because he feels like he already knows Midorima better than that, but. Still. He takes a little bit more to make sure he's clean enough to switch spots, and then he slides his hand from Midorima's chest around to his back, kind of like a sensual slow almost-hug. He's still definitely using him for support.]
Okay, I'm ready. Do you want me to wash your hair, Midorima-kun? I can reach, you know?
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[ He doesn't make jokes. That's why when he's being ridiculous it's even more funny somehow.
His breath is a little sharper as he feels Eichi moving to the other side. To cover it up, he steps forward to dunk his head under the water. He holds out his hand to the side, back still facing him. ]
I can do it myself if you give me shampoo.
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[But he'd wanted to do it himself. Ah, well... He can't push this too much, can he? Or like a magnet facing the wrong way, Midorima might fly away. He sighs against Midorima's skin and then reaches to pass him the shampoo carefully. Even there, his fingers brush wherever they can. He stays close, even if he knows he'll have to not be in the way of Midorima washing himself.
But he's feeling so affectionate... This moon is pushing him to feel this way so much, and even without it he's the lonely sort. It's just that it's giving him an excuse to be more physical with it.]
...Did you enjoy it?
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That question in particular gives him a flashback to exactly what he was feeling at that point, and Eichi may notice a flush reaching the back of his neck. His cock twitches just slightly too, teased by the little touches here and there and then the verbal reminder of what it could be doing. Of what his body wants him to do. His tail starts swaying back and forth. It's soaked, so it's not fluffy anymore, so it rather feels like a solid appendage rubbing back and forth Eichi's front. ]
Obviously. Don't ask silly questions.
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He kind of does. Just the idea of excitement again makes him dizzy, but he loves that, he wants it, he can't help that he's in heat.]
Is it silly? That's just your opinion. You were so silent, I was worried you might be bored... I would have been hurt, if that was the case.
[His fingers brush carefully over Midorima's chest, a slow test as he turns his face against his back, lips and nose ghosting wet skin.] I enjoyed it, too.
[So he can hear it. It's only fair.]
Do you have any fantasies, Midorima-kun?
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[ And he's starting to think for good reason! Apparently, having sex hasn't made Midorima too much less of a prude. At least not enough to answer that straight, but the question he had before is far more obvious now. It's definitely intentional. Eichi's trying to work him up again, and it's working. He completely tenses up, his voice raising a little in volume. ]
I certainly don't have any fantasies about my-- [ he doesn't even know what Eichi is ] about you ending up in the hospital because my stamina far surpasses yours and you can barely stand.
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[He laughs, but it's a little breathy, hands slipping a little more, feeling but not wandering too much. Small things.]
If I had to think what one of mine would be... Let's see... Being pushed to my limits? Surely someone like you can understand that desire.
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I said I'm not interested in hospitalizing you. You called me over today because you weren't feeling like you could make it until Monday and I've done the opposite of help. I'm not pushing you further even if you want it.
[ He leans in, but only rests his forehead against Eichi's for a brief moment, still not kissing him. If Eichi leans in at all, or a few seconds pass, he'll stand up straight again and go to turn around. ]
Finish getting clean.
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But even when that fades away, there's a strange mixture of feelings left in his chest. He's still aroused, still dealing with heat, and the intense way Midorima can turn on him like that is incredibly attractive, somehow. But now he's worried, on top of that. Afraid? He's afraid he's stepped over some line... Maybe he did that long ago.
It's not fair to ask him to push that line. No one ever wants to, and he shouldn't expect them to, right? More than that, he's not sure why he wants to push it so far to begin with. More thinking on that has him wondering if he's more troubled by everything going on right now than he wants to admit. (Yes.)
Midorima just cares. That's what this is, he's sure... But even knowing that isn't calming the sick feeling in his heart. It's not Midorima's fault at all. Eichi just has had too much on his plate for too long, and something was bound to knock at it.]
...Right.
[So, he's quiet aside from that, and he doesn't move his hands back to touch Midorima even for support. He's not steady on his feet, but he can probably make it for the rest of this shower.]
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He's been wrong about that before, to devastating consequences, but perhaps he'll get lucky this time.
Since Eichi is staying quiet, Midorima finishes off his hair and is rather militant about washing himself. It's a habit, one he does more than most people because of his involvement in a sport that results in him getting very, very sweaty. He does think about what Eichi said. His mind stays on it for a while. It comes back to something that he thought before about Eichi. The last time he was over there too, in his desire to 'live' he was risking his life far too much. It wasn't that Midorima didn't want to give him what he wanted. He did want more from Eichi. Midorima himself has pushed himself beyond his own limits multiple times. He's seen people be physically and mentally broken from doing it. He's never dealt with sexual limits before, and he's still only just had sex, so it's still.. it's too much for him to even consider properly right now. His head is still swimming from what he's just done-- what they've just done. Eichi can barely stand after that- he's not holding onto him. Midorima can't see or feel him and he's quiet, and that's troublesome.
He's so bad with people. Eichi being quiet and letting go is strange, and it's his fault. He never knows what to say, he never knows how to stop a conversation normally when he needs to divert from the topic or stop the slew of things that are honestly overwhelming for him. Midorima is not emotionally intelligent, or conversationally intelligent. When Eichi told him he felt lonely when he didn't talk, he wanted to ask why he wanted to be around him to begin with then. That felt too weak to ask, though.
Everything about today is overwhelming and it just comes off as Midorima seeming upset rather than what it is. ]
If you can convince me I can trust you to tell me to stop before it's too late in the future, I'll consider it.
[ That's what he lands on. A small concession. They're not there yet though. The know each other more intimately than Midorima knows anyone else, and yet he doesn't feel like he knows Eichi very well at all. If he's going to do something so extreme as to push someone whose limits could very well land them in the hospital or worse, he needs to be able to trust him. And that's not something he feels comfortable with right now. There are some things Midorima can only do if he has complete trust in someone.
There are only two people Midorima has ever had complete trust in and one of those people broke while Midorima stood by and watched, unable to do anything to stop it. Eichi has a long road ahead to get what he wants out of Midorima. ]
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